Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Being a Better Sister


Hi, this is Summer again. I read Kiwi's post about the green-eyed monster. (It is green-eyed, not green-haired, Kiwi. Tabitha is right.) At first, I felt offended. How could she say those things about me?

But then... I thought about it more. I realized she was kind of right. Okay, maybe a lot right.

I never intentionally ignored Kiwi. The fact is, though, I did abruptly start spending a lot less time with her. I stopped wanting to go anywhere with her, because I was afraid I would get an e-mail from Marigold while I was gone if I left the house for too long. I stopped focusing as much on her when she was talking, because I was too busy thinking about my own stuff.

Is it understandable that I did that? Yes, I think it is. Tabitha is right - this is all new to me, and it's a big deal. When we have something that is a new big deal, it's pretty normal to obsess a little.

Something being normal and understandable doesn't make it the right thing to do, though. It wasn't right to ignore Kiwi, even if I'm excited about Marigold. It's not fair to make my whole life about one sister, and act like the other sisters don't matter. Even if I never felt that way in my heart (which I never did) it was still wrong to make Kiwi feel that I didn't care.

This afternoon, I found Kiwi in the living room doing a jigsaw puzzle all alone. I could tell that she was trying to act mad at me, but I think that for real she was just sad.

"Let's go to the park, Kiwi," I suggested.

Kiwi looked at me sceptically. "What if Marigold e-mails you while we're gone?" she asked.

I took a deep breath, smiled a genuine smile, and said, "It can wait till we get back."

I did apologize to Kiwi at the park, and she accepted it very graciously. By that point, the tension was already gone, though. The ice broke when I said I wanted to spend time with her. When she saw that I still cared.

I'm still really excited to get to know Marigold. I learned a really important lesson, though. You shouldn't take for granted the sisters you already have, because they're worth a whole lot!

Love,
Summer

8 comments:

  1. Hi Summer!

    I'm glad that you and Kiwi worked things out. You'll always be close sisters. It was kind of Kiwi to accept your apology and I think that both of you will always have a special bond.

    Love,
    Reese <3

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    1. Summer says:

      I'm glad, too. We're definitely always going to be close sisters - but I think that being close sisters means that you have to say sorry sometimes. I definitely made a mistake, and I'm glad Kiwi didn't hold a grudge. Things are good again between us now.

      Love,
      Summer

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  2. Salut, Summer!
    I'm glad that the air between you two is cleared now. I can definitely understand. Sisters have little arguments- some more than others- and I say that from experience. I think it would be fun to have a close relationship with my sister, but my relationships with my friends and brother make up for it.
    Do you think you'll get to meet Marigold someday? I understand how excited you must have been to find out about your sister.
    Bisous,
    Sabine

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    1. Summer says:

      Hi, Sabine. Yeah, I'm really fortunate in that my relationship with Kiwi (and all my sisters, for that matter) is generally really good. We have our little spats like any family, though. I wish you could have that kind of relationship with Sandrine, too.

      I'm definitely hoping to meet Marigold! We're trying to work something out so she can come see us this summer. Fingers crossed!

      Love,
      Summer

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  3. Hi Summer!

    I'm glad you and Kiwi have worked everything out. Poor Kiwi- it was probably really tough for her. My mama is always telling me to remember "impact and intent." Even if I didn't intend to hurt someone, if it impacted them badly, I need to apologize. It's just part of living social justice in your own life, my parents say.

    I'm really excited to hear more about Marigold. I like to imagine that I have a sister back in Russia, but I don't know if that's true or not. I hope Marigold can come and visit you soon. I wonder if you'll have a lot in common?

    Sending you warm wishes,

    Inky

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    1. Summer says:

      Hi, Inky! I think what your mama said is exactly right. I didn't hurt Kiwi on purpose... but I did hurt her, and I owed her an apology for it.

      I think that social justice is important in our immediate circumstances as well as more globally, as you said. :-)

      Things are a lot better now. I realized that part of the problem was I was trying to keep the two families separate - but it's all part of my life. I suggested that Kiwi send Marigold a message in my last e-mail, and she did. Marigold wrote back and said she was excited to meet Kiwi too. That helped a lot, because it's not just my thing anymore. Kiwi is part of it.

      I think you might have a sister, Inky! I always assumed I had biological siblings because my parents were pretty young at the time I was placed in foster care. I just didn't expect a twin.

      Marigold and I are hoping for a visit before the end of the summer. It seems like we have a lot of things in common, but there are things about us that are pretty different, too. Maybe Marigold will write a blog post someday!

      Love,
      Summer

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    2. Hi Summer,

      I bet you're really looking forward to meeting Marigold! I will keep my fingers crossed that she gets to visit you soon!

      Love,

      Inky

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    3. Summer says:

      Hi again, Inky. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.

      Actually, there's some visit news! I'm going to do a post about it in a minute.

      Love,
      Summer

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